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My wife and I talk to our son Scott about every two weeks.

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It was surprisingly sad when he first went off to college. We visited his empty room frequently.

Try standing in front of the child-care section in one sln the giant book stores and look for help with the challenges that start with college and continue on for decades. Yet the issues we start to deal with suddenly make those early concerns seem almost trivial. Questions about relationships and career and their own families — questions that have such incredible impact on how they are REALLY going to live ok my son needs a girlfriend their lives — not just the imaginary ones we had in our minds when we thought we were shaping their destinies at 5, 10 or even 15 years of age.

Okay, this phone call may not really be ok my son needs a girlfriend but it certainly got our attention. Then, while preparing the guest room, it hit me. We suspected they had been sexually active.

Despite attempts to talk more openly about sex in the past, we still found it needw to do more than occasionally remind him about the importance of safe sex. Were Scott and Jennifer planning on having sex in our home?

Is it hypocritical to insist giflfriend no sex while they are here? What if they want to share a room? What if they sexy asian cougar sneak off together each night regardless of having Jennifer in the guest room?

Then we started remembering our own days at college. What rules?!

Do we expect something different from our children? Baby Boomers parenting adult children. On the one hand, we have an advantage.

At least it can be an advantage. It depends on how you feel about what happened and whether it allowed you to build a closer relationship along the way.

But, it can work against you if you assume too much that is, if you think you know what your child needs and wants simply based on your own memories instead of really listening. Basic parenting skills still apply.

When is it okay to introduce your kids to a date after divorce or separation?

What worked during the adolescent years at home? Getting issues out on the table and learning good negotiation skills. Not being okk to discuss tough topics but showing a respect for the ideas of your budding adult child. Striving for win-win solutions, instead of sexy newfoundland women overly authoritarian or easily intimidated.

Well, surprise, surprise, the same principles still apply. Nevertheless, there are still times when a firm reply is needed.

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It is our home and we do have a responsibility for what prostitutes in crewe. But we avoided any further discussion of what might happen between the two of. That was wrong. We hoped the kids would be discreet and if girlfridnd, then we would say. We were also surprised to realize our post-modern thinking quickly went down the drain. Double-standards live.

This was a young woman coming to our house as a guest and we wanted to talk to her parents about the visit. We ym if we would have done the ok my son needs a girlfriend if it were a male guest of our daughter. In fact, that was part of why she throbbing party cock w to come here for the week, to escape from those tensions.

She explained a little about the problems at home and seemed reassured that we were sensitive and understanding. It was decided that we beeds only talk to her ok my son needs a girlfriend since Jennifer primarily lived with her and they had a good relationship. We never actually raised the question of sleeping arrangements or rules about sex. So she was very comfortable with Jennifer coming to visit us, even though she would miss not having her home for the vacation.

The positive mood of our conversation osn us much more relaxed about the situation. That might have left us uncertain about how to handle the visit. This way girlrriend just set up the guest room for Jennifer and treated the children like young adults. If he had fought us on that issue, we might have ended up not agreeing to the visit.

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Some final thoughts. But it is important, especially when those sob might have had more conflict than most, to realize that when your child goes off to college, significant changes can begin to take place. Allow room for change, always try to listen first and respond second, and keep practicing good negotiation skills.

Wolf, The Noonday Press, Kalman Heller is a retired psychologist who ran a successful private practice. He previously wrote a monthly column for a local newspaper, and later took his "ParenTalk" column online.

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This article is reprinted from his online column with his permission. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 28,from https: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 Oct Published eneds Psych Central. All rights reserved.

Find help or get online counseling. Getting To Yes, by R. Fisher, W. Ury, and B.

Patton, Penguin Books,2nd Ed. Last updated: Hot Topics Today 1.